All or Nothing

Happy summer :) It's been awhile, i know & i'm sorry.
My long distance unoffical relationship has come to a point where the decision needs to be made whether we're going to fully commit and take the leap of faith to be completly together, or never speak again. This decision won't be made for some time probably but I need to figure it out within the next few months because i need to know whether or not to apply to schools where he is, or not. Hard decision :/ but it definietly needs to be made. I can't keep putting myself through this misery of not knowing whether or not to hold on or move on.

any advice would be nice :) If you would really like to help and need more background info then e-mail me. sleepingbeauty@rome.com--stupid email but i havn't got around to changing it yet...so no judging!

abandonment.

Sometimes people you thought would never leave you, do. It's those people that you let all your walls down for, the people you shared everything with, the people that for a breif momment you truly believed you were safe with that can leave the deepest wounds and scars. Trusting another person is dangerous. & what i still can't figure out is why I trust anyone at all especially after dealing with continuous hurt and heartache. I'm not talking about the boy in the navy, although i have been hurt by him, it's mainly just the situation in general. That, and one of my closest friendships of 2 years just ended the other day without warning. That's the thing with friends and lovers, it all can end without notice, or warning in a heartbeat. You have no time to prepare for all the shit that comes with the departure and to be honest, it hurts so much because it's unexpected. I feel lonely and depressed. I feel abandoned.

-B. xx

Hi Everyone! Sorry I havn't written in awhile, posting on long distance love just became more depressing than beneficial... yet that was the point of creating this blog in the first place was to let people who are going through this know that they're not alone. Either way, that's no excuse and i'm really sorry for not writing in so long.

With that being said, This week has been amazing! Seriously, something out of a movie. My boy came back home after being away at sea for nearly a year :/ All this time waiting for him has lead up to this week, and even though he will only be here for the next couple days, they have been some of the best days of my life. Seeing him puts in context why I continue to wait in the first place. Reunions are worth it, they really are. & for everyone else who is waiting on the return of their loved one, just hang in there you're incredibly strong and all your patience will be rewarded to you through good karma i promise:)

xx-B.

Soulmates.

The topic of soulmates has come up several times in my conversations this past week and the thoughts of a few people I've talked to have begun to haunt me. A friend of mine said she believes anyone can fall in love with anyone else just as long as their religous/politial beliefs are the same. She went on to tell me she doesn't believe in soulmates for "there just too many people on the earth for one to simply be made for another." I halfway agree with this thought process. There are lots of people in the world but the way I see it each person has a few soulmates. Not hundreds, and yet not just one either. Some people will never find the few soulmates they have which is incredibly depressing but true. Sometimes you may find one of your soulmates, yet never actually end up together because the timing is just not right. What's your opinion, do you believe in soulmates or is it all just a fabricated lie to make people believe in the hope of love?

Worth It.

Long distance relationships are unlike any other type of relationship out there. It's really depressing and lonely but for those reunion moments with your loved one (whether they be few or many) it's worth it. Its worth the wait.

It's Not The Distance

It's not the distance that I can't handle. I've already made it this far and lasted this long.
It's simply you.
Sometimes you realize people arn't worth the wait.
You realize that all this time you've been so preoccupied with your past and future with a person that you completely miss your present.
If you would have made us a priority like I did, then this wouldn't have happened.
I've moved on, I've let go.
It's not the distance.

-Anonymous

Worth The Wait

I can’t really believe I’m writing this… because I can’t really believe I’m here. Here, right here. Madly, deeply, courageously in love.
This is our story. The story of him and her.
A few years ago, my friend was dating his friend. We had heard of one another and, thanks to the internet, found each other’s pictures and words online. (Thank you, myspace.) He lived in Las Vegas and I lived in Seattle. We had never uttered a single word to one another, but somehow we developed secret little crushes on each other. Secret from everyone. Secret from even each other. When we finally met last year, when I finally laid eyes on him coming down that escalator, that was it. That moment changed my whole life.
We are so different. He is a triathlete and I’m lucky if I don’t trip crossing the street. He’s politically conservative and the day Obama was elected might have been one of the happiest days of my life. Through all of our differences, though, he is my heart.
We both had to sacrifice a lot to be together. Our situations weren’t ideal when we met, so we had to really ask ourselves if this was worth it. We dated long distance, taking turns flying to see one another once a month, for what felt like forever. There was never any “Are we or aren’t we dating? Could this be serious?” from across multiple states. It was too much work unless this could really be something. And, from the very beginning, from that very first night we met, it really was something.
He had had several serious relationships before me. He had loved and been loved by people I’m sure were lovely. I had not been as lucky in love. For whatever reason, I just didn’t see a great love in my future. So, I decided that I would construct a life just for me, a life I could truly love and I did. Deep down, however, there was a hole, a hole where l wished love could live.
When I met him, when I finally met him, I was thirty years old. I was thirty years old and I had found the first, and perhaps only, true love of my life. He wasn’t who I imagined for myself. He was more and he was less, but he was perfect. Perfectly imperfect for me. He filled the empty space in my heart that I think might have always been waiting just for him.
A few months ago, I packed my bags and moved to Las Vegas. This gal from rainy Seattle moved to the desert for love. It’s harder than I expected and I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a lot of work, but it never, ever ceases to be worth it. Every day he makes me laugh. Every day he makes me feel loved. Every day he makes me remember how happy I am that I waited all those years to meet him.
We talk about our future, about our wedding, about our babies, but I’m a realist. A realist writing about love. I don’t know, can’t possibly know for certain, what will happen for us in the future. What I can say is that I’ve found my best friend and that knowing, loving and walking through this crazy, difficult, happy journey with him has made me a better person. I guess that’s the thing about our love that means the most to me.
We make each other better. Every day.
- Kathleen

Recurring Theme

Wind & Fire

The icon and highly respectable name in fashion, Diane Von Furstenberg once said,

"Absence is to love as wind is to fire. If the fire is small and weak to begin with, then the wind will blow it out, but if the fire is big, then the wind will only intensify it."

I absolutely LOVE this quote! It's a little scary when thinking about long distance relationships, but completely true.

Bittersweet Love

Black mascara stained tissues fill my bedroom floor. I never even knew it was possible to feel this alone.
Ever since you left I haven't been able to think straight. I never asked for this. I never thought things would have turned out this way. Never in a million years. The idea that I have absolutely no control in a situation that is going to affect my life is a scary thought. It’s like watching a train wreck happen right in front of my eyes.

They say some things don’t work out like they should. Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re wrong. Maybe you were always meant to leave. Maybe I’m supposed to find myself while you’re away. Do some soul searching while you’re gone. I’ve got time. I’m sure you’re doing the same.

I envy the couples I see passing me by on the city streets. I have half of what they have. I have you, but not your presence. I have your memory but not your touch. I want so badly to just be able to kiss your lips, hold your hand, and see your smile once again.
Yeah, modern technology is great. But it’s not enough. I need You, not your picture. Are webcams and sporadic phone calls suppose to hold me through months, even years without seeing your face, touching your skin, feeling the warmth and safety of your arms around me.

I love you whether you’re right next to me or a thousand miles away. It's just difficult that’s all. You told me you couldn't ask me to wait for you. The thing is, you never had to. I was waiting for your return before you ever left and I’ll continue to patiently wait until the next time we meet.

Whatever happens, please just don't forget about me because I will never forget about you. In the mysterious and distant place of the future, I don't know if we will end up together. For now I'll keep my memories close to my heart and continue to re-live them until the moment we can create even more.


This is my personal story that has also been posted on a different blog, (OUR BRITTLE LITTLE BONES-blogspot) I decided to post it here as well since it correlates, and my own story has been asked about.)

Just Friends

I still think about you sometimes. And I hate that. I hate that I wonder if you are happy, how your religion is going, how you are doing as a person. I wonder if you are happy, or if you are just pretending to be happy. I wonder if you finally found a girl you felt was good enough for you.

I wonder if you regret deciding we couldn’t be friends. I know that with the distance nothing else would have worked out. And I was okay with that. I felt that there was a reason we got along so well and could talk for hours at a time. I felt that we could be those types of friends that talk once or twice a month and get along great.

When you told me you have ‘girlfriends or potential girlfriends, but no friends that are girls’ I felt like I could be the exception, I was the exception for everything else, why not that? We had never met; we couldn’t have friends of friends watch out for the other. What we had was simple. We enjoyed each other. And I think that is what makes great friends. And you stopped that. And I understand, and this is not me trying to change your decision on that. You felt it was what was best for you. You could not have a friendship with me.

And that time you just said hi, I thought it was because you had changed your mind and you decided you could handle a friendship with me, you could handle talking to me every once in a while and us laughing and smiling. And just being ourselves around each other, what more could you ask for in a friend?


I told you I could be friends with you. I told you that that was fine with me. And I may have been lying, but that is because I felt you could teach me so much, and over time I would have been okay with it. But you didn’t allow that.

Wow, I am rambling a lot. I am just writing this to tell you even though we have never met, and we probably never will, I still think about you. And if you ever change your mind, I still want to be your friend. I still care about you, and want you to be happy.

And don’t worry, I know you have a thing about cutting ties, please do not think you have to respond to this, I expect you to not respond. That is okay. I just wanted you to know I am here for you still.

Jessica

Brand New

Hiiii(:
So after doing countless online blog searches about long distance relationships (in any form) and having no luck, i decided to start one of my own. Please send in any stories or personal experiences you might have about this topic. My e-mail is SleepingBeauty@rome.com I'll post them as soon as I recieve them. Photos would be an amazing contrabution as well! Comments are appricatied. Please send in your stories!!