Just Friends

I still think about you sometimes. And I hate that. I hate that I wonder if you are happy, how your religion is going, how you are doing as a person. I wonder if you are happy, or if you are just pretending to be happy. I wonder if you finally found a girl you felt was good enough for you.

I wonder if you regret deciding we couldn’t be friends. I know that with the distance nothing else would have worked out. And I was okay with that. I felt that there was a reason we got along so well and could talk for hours at a time. I felt that we could be those types of friends that talk once or twice a month and get along great.

When you told me you have ‘girlfriends or potential girlfriends, but no friends that are girls’ I felt like I could be the exception, I was the exception for everything else, why not that? We had never met; we couldn’t have friends of friends watch out for the other. What we had was simple. We enjoyed each other. And I think that is what makes great friends. And you stopped that. And I understand, and this is not me trying to change your decision on that. You felt it was what was best for you. You could not have a friendship with me.

And that time you just said hi, I thought it was because you had changed your mind and you decided you could handle a friendship with me, you could handle talking to me every once in a while and us laughing and smiling. And just being ourselves around each other, what more could you ask for in a friend?


I told you I could be friends with you. I told you that that was fine with me. And I may have been lying, but that is because I felt you could teach me so much, and over time I would have been okay with it. But you didn’t allow that.

Wow, I am rambling a lot. I am just writing this to tell you even though we have never met, and we probably never will, I still think about you. And if you ever change your mind, I still want to be your friend. I still care about you, and want you to be happy.

And don’t worry, I know you have a thing about cutting ties, please do not think you have to respond to this, I expect you to not respond. That is okay. I just wanted you to know I am here for you still.

Jessica