All or Nothing

Happy summer :) It's been awhile, i know & i'm sorry.
My long distance unoffical relationship has come to a point where the decision needs to be made whether we're going to fully commit and take the leap of faith to be completly together, or never speak again. This decision won't be made for some time probably but I need to figure it out within the next few months because i need to know whether or not to apply to schools where he is, or not. Hard decision :/ but it definietly needs to be made. I can't keep putting myself through this misery of not knowing whether or not to hold on or move on.

any advice would be nice :) If you would really like to help and need more background info then e-mail me. sleepingbeauty@rome.com--stupid email but i havn't got around to changing it yet...so no judging!

abandonment.

Sometimes people you thought would never leave you, do. It's those people that you let all your walls down for, the people you shared everything with, the people that for a breif momment you truly believed you were safe with that can leave the deepest wounds and scars. Trusting another person is dangerous. & what i still can't figure out is why I trust anyone at all especially after dealing with continuous hurt and heartache. I'm not talking about the boy in the navy, although i have been hurt by him, it's mainly just the situation in general. That, and one of my closest friendships of 2 years just ended the other day without warning. That's the thing with friends and lovers, it all can end without notice, or warning in a heartbeat. You have no time to prepare for all the shit that comes with the departure and to be honest, it hurts so much because it's unexpected. I feel lonely and depressed. I feel abandoned.

-B. xx

Hi Everyone! Sorry I havn't written in awhile, posting on long distance love just became more depressing than beneficial... yet that was the point of creating this blog in the first place was to let people who are going through this know that they're not alone. Either way, that's no excuse and i'm really sorry for not writing in so long.

With that being said, This week has been amazing! Seriously, something out of a movie. My boy came back home after being away at sea for nearly a year :/ All this time waiting for him has lead up to this week, and even though he will only be here for the next couple days, they have been some of the best days of my life. Seeing him puts in context why I continue to wait in the first place. Reunions are worth it, they really are. & for everyone else who is waiting on the return of their loved one, just hang in there you're incredibly strong and all your patience will be rewarded to you through good karma i promise:)

xx-B.

Soulmates.

The topic of soulmates has come up several times in my conversations this past week and the thoughts of a few people I've talked to have begun to haunt me. A friend of mine said she believes anyone can fall in love with anyone else just as long as their religous/politial beliefs are the same. She went on to tell me she doesn't believe in soulmates for "there just too many people on the earth for one to simply be made for another." I halfway agree with this thought process. There are lots of people in the world but the way I see it each person has a few soulmates. Not hundreds, and yet not just one either. Some people will never find the few soulmates they have which is incredibly depressing but true. Sometimes you may find one of your soulmates, yet never actually end up together because the timing is just not right. What's your opinion, do you believe in soulmates or is it all just a fabricated lie to make people believe in the hope of love?

Worth It.

Long distance relationships are unlike any other type of relationship out there. It's really depressing and lonely but for those reunion moments with your loved one (whether they be few or many) it's worth it. Its worth the wait.